Before he could completely unpack his gear bag, I grabbed a picture of the detailed contents.
Here's what a manly outdoors man brings for a weekend in the Poconos.
1. Nalgene bottle of water. Phila Mountain Biking Association sticker just makes it more bad-ass.
2. Machete. Yes, a machete. He bought this cheapo tree-slayer at a Walmart before heading to Panama or Cost Rica or something.
3. Hand knife. Also giant, this thing says "Don't mess with me, crazed man in he woods.... or drunk frat boy... or bush...."
4. Sleeping bag. Its super warm. End of story.
5. Adventure Racing Medical Kit. First aid for kick-ass people.
6. CLIF bars. Bill said of this trip, "All I really need is a sleeping bag and CLIF bars. The whole world can come crashing in around me and I'll just hunker down in my warm sleeping bag and munch away on CLIF bars." Well said.
7. Major sling shot. Bill's "manly" feat he had to bring to the table was being awesome at sling shot. Story is, he was awesome.
8. Minor sling shot. This little guy was picked up in Panama for Bill to shoot at annoying howler monkeys in the rain forest.
9. Dirty trail running shoes. Because if they aren't muddy, you probably aren't using them right.
10. West Virginia Coal Miner's hat. Just because.
11. Flexible, small gear sack to hold all of this manliness in.
And here's essentially what it was all used for...